Devil or Angel?

Sometimes I wonder if I should be doing stand up. 

Here's a conversation I had with a student yesterday, the Friday before Halloween:

Student:  "Nancy, don't take this the wrong way, but I had a dream about you last week."
Me:         "Really?"
Student:  "Yeah...You had horns!"

I wasn't exactly sure how to take that. Oh sure we giggled, and then all day she continued to make jokes about it. At one point, I was goofing around with her and then she said, "You see?  That's why I can't have dreams about you!" 

Well, at the end of the day, I was sure to have the last word: "Bye dear,"  I said.  "And...sweet dreams!" 

Another student, a former student, approached me at dismissal wondering why we didn't decorate cookies when he was in my class years ago.  We had just had a sugar fest, and the kids were leaving with their smeary sugar cookies in Ziplock baggies, frosting on their noses, singing "Science Fiction Double Feature."  I replied, "Well I must have done something good."

"You did, Nancy.  You teached us."

Forgetting

It's a curse, serving like an unwanted pest, annoying and taunting and testing and winning far too often. 

Imagine forgetting since, well, conception.  Imagine being the one who all but forgot to exit the womb had it not been biologically impossible.

Forgetting can be embarrassing, all-encompassing and everything in between.  We forget birthdays, anniversaries, and even weddings.  We forget to make payments, to make appointments, to eat, to pee, and some of us when we were in, perhaps, fifth grade, may have forgotten the baton for the Memorial Day Parade.  It was considered it an honor to have been chosen to lead the band, to be the majorette. You ask yourself, "How does the LEADER of the band forget the baton?" And when the powers that be ask, "Well, where IS it?" your best answer is, "I dunno!"  when actually,  you DO know.  It's at school.  In your cubby.  Right next to the lunchbox you left there on Friday with the 1/2 eaten soggy tuna sandwich and thermos of milk. 

In our places of employment we forget a plethora of nonsense. All that multitasking, writing notes, planning, meetings, messages, details, expectations, and people.  Oh the dreaded people.  We forget their names, their friends' names, their bosses names, their parents' names.  Then juggling all of that with our own families.  Doctor visits, orthodontist check ups, parent teacher conferences.  Pitiful. Regretful.  Forgetful.

Some of us may have forgotten about the toast in the oven, the toast that we broil because we were too irresponsible to have a toaster, and then burned it anyway.  We burn the croutons, the chicken, the sauce, the chili. And yes, it's possible to burn a pot of water. It just might over-boil on the stove and then melt and leave drips of steel all over the coils. You remember the smell, right?

Note to self, DON'T IRON ON A NEW MATTRESS OR THAT "LAST S FOR SAVINGS" WILL BE OBSCOLETE. Your spouse will soon wonder how many more things he/she will have to replace before the divorce papers are delivered via certified mail. 

Did ya forget the groceries at the grocery store?  And left without the one thing you went in for?  How about your wallet? Your licence? Your keys? Your purse?  Your purse on a stoop? Your purse at a bar?  Your purse in church?  Your purse in Starbucks?  On an airplane?  In a different country?    Have you ever had a homeless man return the purse you left on a platform?

It is a sickening feeling when you forget something.  There's this surge of blood  that shoots up to your face leaving your cheeks hot.  Then your stomach feels empty, even nauseous.  Yeah, you get this real vomiting kind of feeling. All of it is mixed in with relentless embarassment.

Anyway, you may just want to forget about this piece.  The problem is you can't remember how to forget.

Journey

a dotted line
a double line
no line
one way only
forks of yielding choices

stop at red
speed through yellow
near misses at every intersection

Now slow slow slow down
and detour
a scenic route twists and bends ahead
turn right
     away from traffic
 right
    away from trouble
open up your sun roof
roll down your windows
and smell the fresh cut lawns
    
or

turn left
     into the confusion of life
     with the snarls and speed traps and tickets and summons and fender benders

You want to detour from all the wrong turns and
     FIX them.
     Damn it!  Just FIX them.
before your wheels break down and you're
just
plain
stuck.

It's Saturday.
Not too late to turn around.
You can still make that right.